Tess
Gridectomy mascot
Unflappable. Very old. Does crosswords in pen, never hurries, is rarely wrong.
- Job
- Retired ward tortoise, crossword setter
- From
- The Galápagos, via a country hospital
- Personality
- Calm, dry, rarely wrong
- Health quirk
- Knee osteoarthritis, never complains
Her story
Tess has done the crossword every morning for 147 years, always in pen, always with a cup of tea that's gone cold. She spent most of them as the ward tortoise in a country hospital, where the nurses read her the clues and she answered with a slow, certain nod. She has outlived three hospital buildings and two medical schools.
She is never in a hurry and, irritatingly, never wrong.
What she says when you win
- “Slow and steady? You were fast.”
- “Grid cleared. Shell yeah.”
- “Every square, filled.”
- “Totally shell-ebrated.”
- “Neat as a pin.”
- “I'd come out of my shell for that.”
Find her in Gridectomy.
maladywise.com/mascots/tess/